Commander in Latex
by TheMetroidCapsule
Summary: Samus is kinda desperate. Either this person is with that person, or really ugly people are left. Until one day, that might all change for her in the form of a new smasher.
1. Breakfast Bliss

Commander in LatexBy: NeonXSuta-Chan aka Bridgiie

Preface of Samus Aran

Sometimes I fail to think to myself,  
I have no one in this Smash House.  
Everywhere I look I see, Mario hugging Peach and Marth kissing Link.  
Snake getting mushy with Zelda but insisting she should be Sheik more often.  
(appears he has a Sheik fetish…)  
It's like through my helmet I can literally see this disgusting shit.  
It's like they think I'm blind or can't see the hell PDA is...  
God I need someone to understand me...I wish Roy was back.

~*~Chapter 1- Breakfast Bliss"Good morning Samus!" ,t was Zelda who said, "I made breakfast for you." as her shiny green eyes and bright smile pierced my awakening.

I thought to myself a many of time, _Damn, Samus why didn't you go after Zelda? She's so sweet and cute! _But instead I go to the 'emo' route and beat myself up inside and continue to mope in my own misery without anyone else knowing how pathetic I can be.

[whoo...what a mouthful]

I glare at the scrambled eggs with the toast and bacon smile on my plate. Funny thing was, I hate Bacon. Oh how those little slivers of pig stare at me with 'swine scum' written all over them.

I felt like chucking it at her pretty little face.

But I calmly smiled and asked, "Zelda dear, could you get me some ketchup...?" Almost with immediate reply she jumped up and said "Oh yes Samus I'd almost forgot!" With cutesy laughter and ran to get my request downstairs.

As I figured with my luck I chucked the bacon out the window. But to my dismay I heard a familiar voice shouting,

"Samus dammit! Just tell her you don't like bacon!" I looked down at my window staring down at a Indigo haired swordsman.

"Well at least you won't complain about me eating all the damn bacon, Jerkass." Only to find as I slammed my window agitated and turned. Zelda standing there sobbing up, "you...you...don't like breakfast." She whimpered.

"No…no...no...Zelda I love your breakfast I adore it but I just don't like any..." But before I could finish my sentence she ran off, screaming and crying.

"Shit..." I'd whisper to myself, "This day is gonna be great..." with sarcasm.

I slowly walked to my bathroom after having a hangover from the birthday bash we had for Mario and Luigi…old bastards. I wash my face and brushed teeth. As I reached my cupboard I find a note saying, "Today we will be having a smash brawl meeting at 3'o clock, please arrive early to greet a new participant." I shrug of the fact we will be having another person in this God forsaken House.

Not to mention there's hardly anymore rooms in this place. Quick to think I realize and sighed, "Damn the room next to mine's empty, so they'll be living next me." I smack my forehead of disgust and started the hot water...


	2. Arrogance Kills

Author's Note:

**Triforce Garner**: SCREW YOU AND THIS CHAPTER FOR MAKING ME SIT HERE FOR SO LONG!

**TheMetroidCapsule**: Wake up and taste the yuri.

**Triforce Garner**: whatever, my brain was fried while I edited this and I think I still did a damn good job on it. You owe me massive amounts of Marth/Link you ass!

**TheMetroidCapsule**: god dammit…

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THE TRIFORCE GARNER REVISED VERSION :3

At 2:30 I realized to myself that I was suppose to head to the meeting house, aka the Pow Wow Center...and don't ask why I named it this. I started heading my way walking towards my destination, when i got ran over by a pink little asshole and green amphibious thing. As usual they're acting so despicable and foolish whenever something exciting happens.

I sigh with distress. I enter in the big room that kinda looks like a stadium.

As usual, i seat myself next to Link and Marth sucking face and Ike giving Sheik a wedgie. Snake better get over there. Finally, The god awful chattering finally seizes when we see Master hand in the middle of the stage. He roared with delight,

"Dear fellow brawlers!" he began, "I have to inform you of a new brawler will be joining us tonight!"

He waved happily with giddy, (jeez since when did a big hand that looks like a sex toy get "happy for this"). I grumble with irritation and said, "Master hand, may I ask where is the brawler gonna stay?" (knowing him I'll probably be shrugged off or ignored). He chuckled and explained that the staff will be handling all rooming arrangements. I was not happy to hear that I might be moving my shit again, like the last four times. As he continued on about reviewing the brawl general rules and How to play nice etc.

When he was done, he dismissed us and reminded the last minute to be more openhearted and nice to new brawler at the dinner table.

We tell him so and went on out to our business.

I'm not looking forward to meeting this new person...

As usual Wednesdays are days when we all join for dinner together. It reminds me of a spiritual gathering, but we all have different views of that subject. I won't get into that. Especially after that incident with Link…

"So Link…" I said as I sat down next to him and his boyfriend. "Curious about the new person?"

Link smiled as Marth puffed his cheeks a little. Link replied, "Yah I heard the new brawler is a girl."

I glared at him for a bit and was about to say something before Marth interrupted my thoughts. "I hope she isn't obnoxious and doesn't get in my way of training." said Marth, wrinkling his face in disgust.

Suddenly the room fell silent. The way things got now, I was freaking out a little. It was like a spotlight that hit down on her. But the female brawler walked in with the quietest reaction I'd ever seen when someone joins here. "Oh my chozo-gods, she's gorgeous…" I whispered to myself silently. Just the description my eyes viewed of her was beyond my oxygen level capacity. In other words, I was gonna faint. In the corner, I hear Ike talking to Pit.

"She's really hot." Pit nodded his head in agreement, which reminded me of a head banger.

Cute cupid pouty lips, shaded in pink. Shiny black hair that went up in short, curly pig-tails. Long bangs covering her left eye. Oh but her eyes are what entrance me, under the mascara and eyeliner. But underneath those eyes, I saw a solemn expression, which slightly detached me from reality. _What was she thinking? _I wondered in my head. She slowly walked over to me with an apathetic face and sat in front of me. I started to sweat a little, scared to mess up a perfect first introduction.

"H-hello." I said to her. "I like your outfit." She shot a glare at me, almost enough to melt my face off. She snapped with a surprisingly high voice, but gruff.

"Shut up, don't talk to me." I was dumbfounded at her reaction. I almost wanted to hit her, but something was drawing me back. The smash house waiters served our food and I ate my fillet minion and grilled asparagus silently. I watched of what she was eating. My eyes widened when I watched her gobble down dinner before her spaghetti. She stopped and looked at me and growled.

"The hell you looking at?" I gulped and replied,

"You're kinda backwards on your eating habits, aren't you?"

She yelled, "You callin' me fat!?"

I stared at her with astonishment but kept my mouth shut. Oh how the beauty gleams off her even when she's angry. I blushed at the fact of her outfit complimented her curves very much. Tight PVC leather skinny pants and combat boots that went up to her knee. (hmm, a punk freak) A hoodie that had a rainbow star underneath a creepy looking eye that seemed to be crying. Fishnets seemed to be underneath her almost see through tight tee that went past her breast crease before the stomach. It had a teardrop cut out on the shirt. I gasped, _Oh dear chozo-gods…_ I almost had a nosebleed. They were bigger than mine. To my observation, I would think she were at least an F-cup in breast size. Over her tight PVC pants, was a plaid loincloth, oh excuse me a mini skirt that's almost non-existent. I couldn't help but stare at her sexy body, but I could tell she was getting very pissed at me.

"The hell is wrong with you? You have a staring problem?" she bitched. "Is that all people do in this fucking place is…" I turned to look when I saw a hand smack her delicate, dolly face. _What a red mark_, I thought. I turned to see whodunnit. It was Marth.

"Never in my life have I heard so much whining and bitching. You're worse than all the girls being on their monthly together." then he sat back down and acted like nothing happened and chattered to Link. I felt bad for her but at the same time, she deserved it. She whimpered softly to herself but I overheard her mumbling of plotting ways to kill Marth. I actually got scared because of the fact that she was starting to glow bluish green kinda like the smash ball. All the sudden, plates and utensils started floating. And funny to my surprise, Marth's plate smacked into his elegant face. The scary thing was now chairs and other things are being thrown. Next I see Pit flying through the air, and getting slamming into the wall.

"Oh shit, she released a final smash without using a smash ball." a small glass of water started spewing over and the water started to flood the room. And it turned into a giant vortex. We all hear screaming and screeching. Some of us were unfortunate and got sucked into the water vortex while the rest evacuated from the terror and ran outside. The people who got sucked in the vortex got blasted out of the dining room. The last thing we saw, was the cyclone ending in a beam of demons kicking out the rest of the people and destroyed the kitchen.

We knew this child meant business.

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Author's Note:

More yuri! More yuri! Yay!

I'd like to thank Triforce Garner for editing my shit. You're a lifesaver, mmm candy…

**Triforce Garner**: -_- um…you're welcome Brii? I'm glad you like the constant fixes. I'm here simply to flesh out your work. ^^

**TheMetroidCapsule**: :D mmm…tasty…

**Triforce Garner**: ugh, just review guys so Brii can um…eat more candy…or something. And we can all read some more chapters! :3


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